Three-and-a-half hours of tearful acceptance speeches, catty remarks by disparaging duo Joan and Melissa Rivers, and prim, perma-smiles of delight and enrapturement on the audience's collective face.

If you've seen one Academy Awards ceremony, you've pretty much seen 'em all.

So we don't blame you if you could care less who actually wins at this year's 76th event. We do blame you, however, if you do not use this night as an excuse to party like a movie star.

As soon as we came up with the idea of hosting an Oscar's party, we realized we had no idea how to do it, so we asked for some help from party girls Deandra "Brooksie" Brooks and Kristina "Morgan" Rose. These founders of the Washington, D.C.-based Society of Recovering Sorority Girls, have made it their mission in life "to free the world from bad parties," applying the principles of collegiate Greek party life to the leisure lives of young professionals.

From years of hostessing experience, first cultivated in college, the women have learned a few trade secrets, such as: follow a timeline, team up with a friend and use the Internet to solve any problem.

"Between the Internet and Fed Ex," says Brooks, "anything is possible."

The women include practical tips, with a month-by-month guide to party-planning, in their first book, "The Recovering Sorority Girl's Guide to A Year's Worth of Perfect Parties," to be released next holiday season. In the meantime, though Rose and Brooks say they have never planned an Oscar's party, they accepted our challenge, planning a step-by-step guide for you and dubbing it "a night with the stars."

Dress Up

"We really believe that if you're hosting a party, it's your God-given right to wear a tiara," says Rose.

(Though tiaras are their trademark attire at all of their parties, Brooks says, "Sometimes I just put mine on when I clean the house." Or, says Rose, "If you just need to feel like a princess.")

You can find a tiara at most party or accessory stores, such as Claire's, though Rose says she got hers from her mother, who wore it to her high school prom.

"This is an event," says Brooks. "This is on your social calendar."

So, in the spirit of a true Oscar contender, the question is not what to wear, but who to wear.

"Armani continues to be the king of Hollywood dressing," says Tom Julian, an internationally known trend analyst for Fallon Worldwide and the official voice for style at Oscar.com.

Fallon adds that couture labels, such as Dior, Chanel and Yves Saint Laurent, have also started to make an impact on the red carpet.

"Everyone wants something unique," says Julian. "So it really does provoke or create a particular image."

Case in point: Icelandic star Bj?rk's swan dress and matching egg-shaped handbag three years ago.

It's what's on the inside that matters, right?

You could look for your own budget interpretation of the current trends, which according to Julian are "luxe and deluxe." Think unexpected combinations, says Julian: lace and knit fabrics; velvet and silk; fur trim and satin; rich colors, such as aubergine, brown and claret.

You could also go for an Oscar knock-off, such as an Abs line number by Allen Schwartz.

So many tips for women, though, and so little for men. What's a guy to do?

Well, you could take a cue from Indianapolis' Nick Murphy, who admits, "You can only do so much with a sports coat."

Murphy, the founder and host of Awardsavenue.com, started having Oscars bashes six years ago, from his apartment. The event has grown this year to an old movie theatre, with an expected attendance of between 200-300 people. For the dress, Murphy is suggesting that his male guests dress as their favorite celebrity.

We assume he means male celebrities, but we'll let you gentlemen interpret that as you wish.

Decorate

"There's no reason why your guests can't walk in on a red carpet," says Brooks. "Your guests are your stars for your party."

To create do this, she says, buy a red vinyl tablecloth, fold it in half lengthwise and tape it to the front entranceway, leading to your door, and wah-lah!

For a little more pizzazz, buy gold paper, and using a star-shaped cookie cutter, make gold paper stars. Write guests' names on individual stars for them to wear and hang the remaining shapes from the ceiling with fishing wire.

And another party touch is serving ware. The women recommend paper, for ease of disposal afterward, in your party theme colors - black and gold.

Feed the Fans

For the food, Brooks and Rose recommend a California-inspired theme.

"People do expect a certain amount of comfort food," says Rose. "But you don't have to go average."

In addition to the following recipes, the women suggest a mix of blue and yellow corn tortilla chips, and Terra chips, a fancier variety found in the health food section of many grocery stores.

"You must liberate the chips from the bag," says Rose, meaning you should put them in a bowl. "Only horses eat out of bags," adds Brooks.

They suggest making homemade salsa and guacamole.

For the salsa, combine the following into a blender and puree for about a minute: two 14.5-ounce cans of diced tomatoes with onions and garlic, one 8-ounce jar or can diced jalapenos, 1 Tablespoon sugar, 2 teaspoons black pepper, a dash of salt, and fresh cilantro to taste

For the guacamole, you'll need three ripe avocados, three roma tomatoes (seeded and chopped into small pieces), three cloves fresh garlic, minced, three Tablespoons jalapeno style Tabasco sauce, a dash of salt, 1 teaspoon black pepper and two Tablespoons fresh cilantro.

To make it, slice the avocados in half and use a melon baller to scoop out the meat. Place in bowl. Add tomatoes, chopped into small pieces, minced garlic, Tabasco sauce, salt, black pepper and cilantro. Use a potato masher to combine. Guacamole should be well combined, but not soupy.

And for the main dish, the partiers suggest a fajita bar.

This includes, at the very minimum, one serving per guest.

Buy enough chicken (a single serving of is deemed to be 4 ounces, or a quarter pound) to feed everyone.

If time is an issue, use the ready cut and cooked strips and quickly saut? them in fajita sauce. If time is not an issue, get boneless, skinless chicken breasts and cut into strips, cook thoroughly, with 1/2 cup of sauce for each pound of chicken, or to taste.

Place the chicken on an elevated, ceramic tray. Arrange tea lights underneath; warmth from the tea lights will cause the chicken to sizzle, restaurant style.

Then set out a variety of toppings in bowls: green bell peppers and white onions saut?ed in cooking spray, pre-shredded "Mexican" or "Tex-Mex" cheese, and, to make it a wrap, tortillas . Provide some plain and some spinach or tomato or chili flavored wraps to add extra visual interest.

And finally, for beverages, Brooks and Rose suggest serving mineral water (what else would Hollywood drink?) and soft drinks, and wine from California. (FYI, one of the biggest fouls that a party hostess can commit, states Brooks, is to run out of booze.)

Pass the Time

Because you and your guests will be celebrating a television-based event, the main thing to remember, say Brooks and Rose, is to strike a balance between too much and not enough focus on the telecast. To do this, they suggest starting the party at 7, an hour before the telecast begins on ABC. This will give people a chance to arrive on time, have a drink and a snack, and learn the rules of the game. Yes, the game.

"It gives people a reason to talk to people," says Brooks. "And sometimes you need that extra push."

The easiest way to get guests involved in this game, says Rose, is to have them pick Oscar winners. The women recommend that you choose the eight most common categories, plus a ninth as a tiebreaker.

"Some category that your guests probably don't have any idea about what-so-ever," says Rose.

We went ahead and made this ballot for you guys to cut out and Xerox, though we included 10 total categories. Rose also suggests that you print one copy of all the nominations from the Oscar Web site, since many people will not know everyone is.

With the game, there has to be a prize, too.

"It will really bring out the competitiveness in them," says Rose.

Since the winners in Hollywood get a "Presenting Basket," so should your winners. Don't feel pressure, of course, to meet the same $30,000 budget.

"That's just not practical," say the women.

They suggest buying a small-to-medium-sized basket at a local craft store, spending no more than $5. Then, fill it with a variety of cute, luxury items, such as an aromatherapy candle, a Godiva chocolate sampler and a disposable eye pack. Of course, if your guest list includes an even mix of guys and girls, your basket should be a little more "uni-sexual." Rose and Brooks suggest having a few bottles of imported beer on hand, should you have to swap out the eye pack for a six-pack.

Oscar party pro Nick Murphy says in addition to the telecast-based game - "I encourage people to talk back to the screen and have a reaction" - he will also have a separate raffle during commercial breaks, to keep things fun and interesting.

Then, when the tallies are complete and his winning guest is announced, he encourages that person to give his or her own acceptance speech.

"We try to be as silly as possible," he says, of the party. "At the end of the day, it's an awards show and it's not going to change anyone's lives who are watching it. Have fun and act like you think people in Hollywood act."

Contact Goerig at mgoerig@newsadvance.com or call (434) 385-5525.